i hope i don't get licked by a bat

today i went to health services for my "travel assessment" for nairobi. i thought it would be a quick trip just to get shots--no, they had about 200 pages of internet printouts to go over, with every possible health issue i might encounter. here's a few warnings i received:

i'm not allowed to eat fruit, vegetables, food from vendors, drink tap water or other non-packaged beverages, and i'm supposed to sleep under mosquito netting, even in my hotel room, so i won't get malaria. if i go out at night i have to wear long sleeve shirts, pants, and cover any exposed skin with insect repellent containing at least 30% deet.

i'm also not allowed to go rafting (there might be parasites in the water), caving (because of bats) and if i wake up and there's a bat in my hotel room, i should assume i have rabies and immediately seek medical attention, and if i think i was only "licked" by a bat i should assume it was a bite because they produce similar sensations.

i got a shot for polio, one for hepatitis-a, and a typhoid vaccine in pill form. i have to go back monday for my yellow fever shot, a tetanus booster, and malaria pills. they tried to give me the morning-after pill, but i refused.

this summer's gonna be awesome.