Nairobi is only as awkward as I make it

Fortunately I have mastered the art of turning everyday situations into uncomfortable events for everyone involved. Being a white kid in Nairobi presents countless opportunities for awkwardness because not only do I not know what to do most of the time, but also my every move is watched and it is clearly difficult to just blend in with the crowd.

I work in an office with only three other women. On the first day they had a few suggestions for "great" places to eat lunch, though it eventually became clear that we would not be dining together, and that I was on my own. They mentioned a place next door to the office, the ACK Guest House, so at lunch time I scampered over. Now, when I'm in downtown Nairobi, I just look like a tourist and people try to sell me safaris and stuff, but my presence isn't that strange. However, I work in the suburbs, and any walking I do in the area is met with confused stares--people generally just think I'm lost.

So, I arrive at ACK, which has outside seating, and immediately all eyes are on me. It's a buffet-style place, so for Ksh 120 (about $1.60) I get beef stew, rice, mixed vegetables, and a coke--not a bad deal. The entire time I'm ordering and shuffling through the line to get my food I'm pretending to be confident, like I go there everyday, but in reality I'm terrified because I have no idea where i'm going to sit. There are about 15 plastic tables with 4 chairs each--each table is covered by a straw roof and looks like it's inside a little hut or something--hard to explain, maybe one day I'll sneak and try to take a picture.

Anyway, each table of course has at least 2 people sitting at it, so i realize i'm going to have to awkwardly join someone's lunch date (getting the food to go is not an option). So i wander over to a table with two girls who look like they're about my age, and an older gentleman. I sit down and realize the man's eyes are completely white, and he's blind. The two girls have finished eating and are drinking sodas. No one talks. Everyone's plates are completely empty, and i wonder how they've managed to consume enough rice to feed a family of four during their lunch breaks. I realize that there's no way i'm going to be able to finish my food, which starts a new wave of panic. You know how when you're little your mom says "finish your food, there are starving people in africa/china/etc."? (Well, my mom never said this, but i've heard it said before--i think). Anyway, this takes on a whole new meaning when you actually ARE in Africa and there are starving people all around you--not at the restaurant, but you know what i mean.

So i finish all that i am physically capable of eating, meaning that there is enough for another entire meal left on my plate. i start praying that the people at my table will leave so they don't see me leave all of that food there. of course they don't--they just sit there in silence, alternating between staring at their sodas and at me, and taking the longest time ever to drink 300ml of fanta. After nibbling at the rice some more i look at my watch and decide I can't sit there any longer and just get up, grab my bag, and run away--like the selfish, horrible, neo-colonialist they all think that i am anyway. The great part about the whole situation is that i get to repeat it every single day--at least i know how that place works now, and i'm not adventurous enough to go somewhere new for lunch--at least not until the other intern gets here anyway.

In a few minutes I'm off to go see a movie. Movies here are a great way to fill the weekend--they show pretty recent stuff and they're only about $3. Last weekend I saw Mission Impossible 3. Before the movie started they had hardcore "gangsta" rap blasting over the loudspeaker in the theater. Then it got quiet and an image of the Kenyan flag blowing in the wind appeared on the screen, and the national anthem started playing. Everyone jumped to their feet (me too, of course, pretending like i saluted the Kenyan flag everyday) and stood quietly for about 3 minutes, until the previews started playing, then they all settled into their seats for the movie. Perhaps I'll jump up first and lead the salute this afternoon.