Leaving Kenya tomorrow, hopefully the hippo nightmares will cease

I used to have bad dreams about snakes, now it's hippos--always hippos. I guess somewhere deep inside me the 7th grade science student has always known that hippos are like crazy dangerous, but being in Kenya has really driven the point home. I think it has a lot to do with cartoon images and games like "hungry hungry hippos"--I mean, what American child is scared of something that looks like this:

I can't think of a more misleading portrayal of this animal


Last night I had a dream that hippos were loose in an auditorium and chasing everyone around. Just reading this description of hippos from Wikipedia gives me chills.

AGGGHHH!!!!!


So I'm kind of looking forward to getting back to the cartoon world of hippos where they're safely enclosed in the zoo or providing hours of deafening, obnoxious entertainment for five year-olds.


Other things I won't miss too much about Kenya: language barriers. This shouldn't really be an issue I think, since Kenya is an English-speaking country and so is the U.S., for the most part. But for some reason NO ONE understands me in this country. I've stopped counting how many times I've had a conversation like this: (M=me, K=kenyan)

M: Hi, how much is...

K: FINE THANK YOU

M: Ummm, ok, so how.....

K: 3 o'clock....

Even worse are phone conversations where any pause longer than a half a second apparently implies you've completely abandoned the telephone never to return again. Example:

M: Hi, my name is Tracy...

K: HELLO???? YES??? HELLO????

M: Um, yeah, still here, my name is Tracy, I'm calling from Equality Now...

K: HELLO ARE YOU THERE HELLO HELLO ARE YOU STILL THERE???????

M:I'MCALLINGFROMEQUALITYNOWMAYIPLEASESPEAKTOMS___THANKYOUVERYMUCH

K: I'm sorry can you repeat that?

It's truly maddening. Nothing is more frustrating than not being able to communicate to someone who speaks your language. I started carrying around a pen and paper to write instructions for cab drivers after I was 30 minutes late to work one morning when I told the driver "Bishop Tower near the Israeli Embassy, I'm in a hurry" and we were half way to the U.S. Embassy before I realized he wasn't taking a shortcut.

Another conversation I've had at least 15 times:

M: Hi, I'm Tracy, nice to meet you

K: Oh, 'Tracy,' like 'Tracy Chapman'

M: Um, I guess...


Ok, time to go shop, pack, and avoid the toothless crazy man who still yells at me when he sees me. Who would've thought he'd still remember our "encounter" from like a month ago? Though, like I've said before, no one forgets a mzungu in this city. I'd better be on my best behavior.

No, sir, I don't want to purchase a pinwheel, gardening shears, or a baby rabbit this afternoon

One thing I find strange about Nairobi is the abundance of useless crap they sell on the side of the road. Sure, in theory it's a good idea: selling stuff to people stuck in dead-stop traffic for up to twenty minutes at a time. The problem is they sell the most random, inconvenient items possible, and thus they don't sell much at all. I think hawkers in this city could benefit from a little Econ 101: guys, you need to be selling consumable items. That lady you sell a diet coke to today? Well, chances are she's going to want one tomorrow too (I know I would), or at least more than one in a lifetime. You can't try to sell drivers license holders to the same crowd everyday. So, I'm going to list a few items I see for sale regularly on the way home, and suggestions for alternative merchandise.


1. BAD thing to sell in the road: Pool toys in the middle of winter (or ever)

Inflated pool floats should never, ever, be sold on the side of the road, regardless of the season, and since technically it's winter here and people are decked out in down parkas in the 70 degree weather, this item is particularly useless. Not to mention the fact that most backseats can't safely accomodate something so bulky and vision-obstructing.


GOOD thing to sell in the road: Diet coke or other refreshing beverages
What a perfect treat for sitting in traffic. No matter what season, nothing makes time fly like sipping on a cool diet coke. Inexpensive, convenient to carry, and one-time-use only. "Diet coke ma'am?" Sure, I'll take two!


2. BAD thing to sell in the road: large, framed artwork

If it's heavier than an elementary school-aged child, it shouldn't be sold on the side of the road. I really don't understand this one--is framed artwork really that much of an impulse-buy? And I'm not talking about little 8x10 portraits of Maasai warriors--the stuff they sell here is serious business, 6 foot-tall grown men struggling to manage these while they display them to oncoming traffic. Even if I were in the mood to purchase something this random, once I got it home there would be absolutely no way I could get it out of my car and into the house by myself.


GOOD thing to sell in the road: fresh fruit

People in Kenya love fruit. We get invited to "cocktail" receptions where everyone passes up the booze in favor of fresh-squeezed orange juice. Oranges here cost about 7 cents, bananas about 5 cents. How are hawkers here missing out on this? Granted, the above picture is a little deceptive--there's no way I'd buy grapes or an apple from my car window, but something that could easily be peeled? Definitely.


3. BAD thing to sell in the road: puppies and other small mammals

If it needs to be fed, watered, and/or vaccinated, it shouldn't be sold on the side of the road. First of all, pets are kind of a big decision, not something you just decide all of a sudden that you must have immediately while sitting in traffic. Second, where exactly are these puppies coming from, and what happens to them when no one buys them. Third, it's not like the hawkers are offering you a cage or anything, they're just holding the animals in their hands--and most people don't ride around with pet carriers when they're sans pet, so do you just put your new dog in the back seat and keep driving home? I guess so but it just seems a little weird. I could go on with more reasons why this is a BAD item to sell in the road, but I'm not sure it's necessary.


GOOD thing to sell in the road: mobile phone credit

Cell phones here work on the pre-paid system, you buy like Ksh500 worth of credit, every minute you talk costs a certain amount, and when you run out of Shillings, you buy a new card. It's enough to make you want to hug a Verizon representative, but anyway if that's what you have to work with here why not take advantage of it. I'm sure there are plenty of people who hop in their cars, start driving, and don't realize they're almost out of credit until they're sandwiched between 1,000 other cars and 30 minutes from the nearest Safaricom/Celtel outlet. Enter hawkers, offering a Ksh500 card for Ksh520--they make a little profit and they aren't stuck with an aging, disease-ridden puppy at the end of the day. Fantastic!


Conclusion:
If hawkers weren't routinely rounded up by police and carted off to Kenya-jail I might consider changing professions.

Conference is over, internet access resumes

Oh man, what a week. Our office helped to organize an international workshop in Nairobi this week called "Protecting Girls from FGM and Harmful Traditional Practices (HTPs): Challenges and Opportunities for Legal Intervention in Africa." The workshop was technically hosted by the Foundation for Women's Health Research and Development (FORWARD), but since they're based in the UK, our office handled most of the logistical preparation. When I asked about the conference a few weeks ago I was given an answer that greatly underestimated our involvement in the process. Friday night we stayed in the office until 8pm getting stuff ready so we wouldn't have to come in on Saturday--we already knew we had to work on Sunday.

On Sunday we hosted a reception for the participants who had arrived from other countries. There were representatives from the medical, legal, and social service professions who arrived from Burkina Faso, Ghana, Guinea, Tanzania, Congo, Mauritania, Tunisia, and Harvard Law School. Originally my role in the conference was to be a participant and take notes to write an article for our "Awaken" publication. At about 10am on Monday this switched to running around making copies and taking care of everyone's problems. That was fine, it just turned into an exhausting week. I would show up at the office at 7:30am and not leave the Hilton until 8pm.

On Wednesday we took a trip to Narok to visit one of the FGM projects Equality Now funds. Basically it's a place where girls can go to escape FGM--there's a school and dorm facilities. We learned a lot about how the police/child service/legal systems interact in Narok to implement and enforce the Kenyan law against FGM.


In Narok, with most of the group and two Maasai women


Classroom facilities at the project in Narok


So I think the week was a success, the final product will be a technical document providing a legal framework for protecting girls from FGM/HTPs. Thursday night we had a reception to mark the end of the workshop.


GROUP PHOTO!! YEAH! EVERYBODY SMILE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Last night most of us went to Carole's house for a big dinner and nyama choma. I learned how to barbeque a goat leg. Mike, Carole's husband, told me that sometimes people will just spend an entire afternoon and evening nyama choma-ing, and they bring a live goat to their house and slaughter it and just grill the pieces all day. I thought that was a little out of control.


Me posing with Mike, goat legs, and basting sauce


Conversation between me and Mike later that night:

Mike: So, do you think you could do this by yourself now?

Me: Possibly, but I don't think I could bring a goat home with me and slaughter it to start the process.

Mike: Oh, don't worry, you'll get there.....

A few more weeks in Kenya and I might...who knows.


West Africans enjoying nyama choma



Mary's daughter Kabura and I standing too close to the grill


So one week left in Nairobi to finish like 5 projects. I was so tired I slept through "The Mystery Files of Shelby Woo" this morning. Dangit.

Dinner chez Mary

Last week our office manager, Mary, invited Mary Beth and I over to her house for a Kenyan feast. Carole, a program officer, also came and brought her family. Here are a few pictures and the menu:

Mary, her daughter, and Carole's son


Mary Beth, Carole's daughter, and Carole (and my plate of food on the table)

Here's what we had--I still can't believe we ate this much:

1. Ugali
2. Arrow roots
3. Sweet potatoes
4. Boiled green bananas
5. Uji
6. Kale and spinach with beef
7. Beef stew
8. Irid (boiled maize, peas, and mashed potatoes)
9. Black beans with grated carrots
10. Fruit Salad
11. Ice cream

I could barely walk from the taxi to my door after that, then we had leftovers for lunch the next day. I asked Mary to teach me how to make some of this stuff, so hopefully we'll do that next week. The only thing that wasn't so great was the uji--it's like this really thin fermented porridge that you drink out of a mug--I took one taste and then let Mary finish my mug.

Happy Birthday to me

Google image search is my favorite internet tool. I found this gem a while ago when i merely typed "kenya birthday":

Thank goodness I don't know any children

So, yeah, big 23 today. When I walked in the office this morning my colleague greeted me with the following song:

(to the tune of "happy birthday")

Happy birthday to you
I went to the zoo
I saw a big black monkey
And I thought it was you

How sweet.

We did have a chocolate cake at work to celebrate. Only, in an office of 5 people, we've had 3 birthdays in the past month--and one was last week. That's a lot of celebration and a lot of cake. Thanks for the cards and emails everybody!

Safari recap

Ok here's the story on the trip to Amboseli and Tsavo West a few weeks ago. It wasn't a terrible trip, the last day and a half were just a logistical nightmare, so I'll try not to be too negative about the overall experience. It was a last minute trip. I've never been good at planning ahead, and I tend to be pretty impulsive. Sometimes this works to my advantage--for example, Hell's Gate was planned about 30 hours before I left, and that trip was fantastic. I guess it's a little different when you show up at a travel agency on Monday and tell them you want to take a trip on Friday. After making about 100 phone calls they found a group I could join taking a four day trip to Amboseli and Tsavo West (In retrospect I probably should've recognized this as a bad sign--I got STA's, like, 96th choice of safari company).

Originally it was just supposed to be me joining a group of people, but Mary Beth decided to go also at the last minute (thank goodness). The good thing about independent travel is you only have to rely on yourself for food, lodging, and transport. This can be hectic, but it allows for flexibility, and if something doesn't turn out right, well, it's your own fault and you have to deal with it. Travelling with a safari company is the exact opposite. You rely on them for every detail, you're on a set schedule, and, at least in Nairobi, there's absolutely nothing you can do about it if something goes wrong or the company doesn't follow through with any part of its obligations. So Mary Beth and I were told we would be joining a "group" for the trip--we expected a group of people close to our age, whether or not they all knew each other previously. When they picked us up they told us we would be joining a family with kids. We expected little kids, and we were ok with that. So as we're riding to pick them up the coordinator gets the following call (this is her end):

"Yes, we're coming to pick you up now."
"'We'--the two girls joining you."
"Yes, I did tell you that you'd be joining a group."
"Yes I DID"
"Stop yelling, you knew you would be in a group for this half, I told you."
"DON'T YELL AT ME"
[click]

Considering we had only finalized the trip and paid the day before, it was pretty clear the family had not been told we would be joining them. It was also clear they definitely did not want us joining them. When we picked them up, this was the story: The "kids" were two guys aged 25 and 20. The family had already had 4 days in Masai Mara and were spending the night in Nairobi before heading to Amboseli. So we barged in on their family vacation half way through. There was so much stuff in the car that three of them had to squeeze in the very back, and no one talked the entire way to Amboseli. I'm bad at awkward situations anyway--but 4 days??? Nightmare.

Once we got to Amboseli and started to see some animals everyone started to talk a little bit. Our two nights there were great--we saw a ton of animals, ate good food, and camped in a really nice area. The family was really into games: Uno, Skip Bo, Boggle, you name it, we played it. After our first night we woke up and took another drive through the park at around 6:30am. We came back at around 11, because the best times to see animals are early in the morning and late in the afternoon. We went for another drive that afternoon and then came back for dinner, more card games, and bed.

To make a really long story short--basically they took us to Tsavo West, and the campsite was infested with ticks. We got out of the car for 15 minutes and everyone was covered in ticks. They told us our options were:
1) Sleep in tick-infested campground and do a second drive in Tsavo West the next morning
2) Sleep in scrub (my word) hotel and miss the second drive because we would have to leave the park.

They didn't want to pay for an extra day of park fees (which were technically included in our price) and none of us wanted either option. After a lot of yelling and phone calls, it was agreed that they would take us to Nairobi National Park the following day and not reimburse us for our lodging that night (we had opted for a less sketchy hotel). I guess if I don't think about it too hard, I can say it worked out ok, but the process was a nightmare, and we still lost $$ in the end. I'll just try not to think about it too hard. In the meantime, here are some pictures:



Elephants at Amboseli



Beginning of the walk up to the lookout point



View of Amboseli



This one's for the album cover



Hippos at Tsavo West

Public transportation is always an adventure

Have you ever taken a matatu?

Last weekend I took my first matatu rides. I had been trying to avoid it, and since Nairobi has a decent public bus system, it hadn't been necessary until I arrived in Mombasa. Basically matatus are minibuses, designed to hold about 14 people, that work like a normal bus and follow a certain route picking people up and dropping them off along the way. Only they're absolutely insane. Normally in Kenya they're airbrushed with, say, a giant image of Jay-Z or Ronaldinho's face on the side with some "gangsta" message printed in huge letters across it (usually just "Gangsta"). They blast deafening music, and generally people jump out and in while they're still moving. The front seat next to the driver is the "death seat"--the worst place to be in case of a crash.


Can you spot me in this picture? (psych i found this picture online)


So, for me at least, they're kind of scary, and I had to take them all over Mombasa and to Diani Beach. And everyone looks at you like you're crazy because mzungus are supposed to take taxis everywhere, of course. I saw a couple of really intense fights between drivers over customers. At some stops a lot of matatus gather and don't leave until they're full, so people get pushed and shoved and dragged among vehicles, and some drivers get people to pull passengers out of other matatus by telling them it's not going to the right destination. I'm not sure 2 extra minutes of waiting for another passenger to arrive, or 20KSh is worth beating someone up over, but what do I know.

Matatu and conductor--yikes!

The public buses in Nairobi are a lot safer, but no less chaotic. The other day I went into town during the work day and tried to take the bus back. After 30 minutes of being pushed and shoved, watching one woman punch another to get on the bus, and watching people chase down the bus to jump on a full two blocks before the official stop, I decided to walk back. Maybe I'm too risk-averse for Kenya.

Weekend in Mombasa and Diani Beach

This weekend I went to Mombasa, which is on the Kenyan coast. Not gonna lie, Mombasa is a pretty sketchy city. Noisy, dirty, and impossible to walk down the street without someone grabbing your arm offering to take you on a tour or sell you some junky trinkets.

The famous Mombasa tusks--every source gave me a different explanation of their significance.


I took the overnight train there, which arrived in Mombasa at 9:30am (it was supposed to get there an hour earlier, but that's Kenya for you, I guess). I stayed in a cheap hostel in the center of the city, and slept under mosquito netting--malaria is apparently a big problem on the coast. Saturday morning I walked around Old Town and Fort Jesus--the big sites in the city. The constant hassling got really annoying though, so after a while I checked my guidebook for another way to spend the afternoon.

View of the ocean from Old Town--I made the man trying to sell me fake ebony Maasai warrior figurines stand behind me to take this picture


I decided to visit Bombolulu Workshop, which is a type of village that provides vocational training for the physically disabled, who learn how to create and market different handicrafts. I toured the workshops and learned how the village operates--it was really amazing. They have a shop onsite where 80% of what they sell they make in the various workshops, the other 20% come from other cooperatives with fair-trade policies. I was happy they took Visa.

Wood carving workshop at Bombolulu--the workers are behind me but I wasn't sure if it was appropriate to take their picture...


Later that night I went out to watch England v. Portugal and then went to bed really early--my plan was to wake up at 5:30am and head to Diani Beach (about 45min away) for the day. Well, the 5:30am plan didn't work out, but I eventually got to Diani at about 9:30, where I learned that all of the full day boat tours had left at 7:30am (when I originally wanted to get there). I was a little disappointed, but found one of the big resort hotels, pretended like I was a guest, and they let me in no problem. I set up a 2 hour boat tour of the area for 1pm, then read for a while until lunchtime.


View from the hotel


I had read about a restaurant nearby that sounded good--"African Pot Restaurant." I showed up at noon and was the only person there, so I got great service. I ordered chicken karanga, which is cooked with tomatoes, onions, garlic, and other stuff I'm sure. They cook it all in this earthenware pot and bring it out to you in the pot to serve yourself from. It was delicious but way too much food.

Imagine how awkward I looked taking this picture in the restaurant by myself surrounded by employees standing around doing nothing


After lunch I headed back to the hotel and then down to the beach for the tour.

Tour guide named Kongo (sp?) and the boat. He wanted me to meet his family and stay in his village. I politely refused.


The guide was a little sketchy but friendly enough and kept pulling all sorts of creatures out of the water to show me.
Check out this neat sea spider!!!



I forgot my swimming costume


After the tour I had to sit out in the sun for while and dry off--I didn't want to board the plane soaking wet and covered in sand. Then I headed back to Mombasa, had a cup of tea at the hostel and watched "Ed" for about 45 minutes until this Kenyan man changed the channel and told me "this show isn't funny." I made him turn it back. Next I headed to the airport and flew back to Nairobi--not the cheapest option but I didn't want to miss anymore work.

Ok, posting those pictures took forever, and I've got to hit up Nakumatt before I head home, so I'll post about my first matatu experience(s) tomorrow.

Nairobi photo tour

So in about an hour I'm taking the overnight train to Mombasa, and I'll fly back Sunday night. Let's hope I have better luck on this trip than last weekend. Computer problems at work continued today, only today the internet was only malfunctioning on the computer I was using, so basically I just had to deal with it. And by deal with it I mean stare at my blank screen for twenty minutes at a time waiting for a page to load. Yesterday I attended a Gender Forum in preparation for the Nairobi +21 Conference which will take place in late July. The forum wasn't too exciting but the conference looks like it will be really interesting, so I hope we get to go. I don't have much to say, so here are some pictures of downtown Nairobi:


Central Park--#2 most dangerous park in Nairobi


Sunday afternoon Maasai Market


Another view of Central Park and downtown Nairobi


Walking down Kenyatta Avenue into downtown Nairobi


Roundabout in downtown Nairobi

I'm not sure how this week could get worse, but I guess I have 2 days to find out

Good lord, where to start....

I'm still trying to figure out a way to put last weekend's safari into words. I just sent off an angry email to the company, so I don't think now's a good time to even try. I'll just say this for now: we saw a lot of elephants; there were also a lot of problems. Maybe I'll post that email later. Or maybe I'll get an attitude adjustment and write a glowing review tomorrow. We'll see.

I have had no free time--I guess it started Monday night when I thought I would get back from the Safari at around 2pm and didn't end up entering my apartment until almost 8pm. That killed any internet/grocery shopping time for Monday night because going out after dark = certain death, as I believe I've mentioned before. At least I got back in time for an Arrested Development rerun, I guess.

So, Tuesday morning at 6:30am I wake up, get ready, and scamper off on my 20 minute walk to work to get there by 8am. Our director got back Friday (while we were gone) and she immediately starts asking us about the Protocol campaign updates we've been compiling. I asked her when we should have the entire thing finished. Her reply--"yesterday." Oh. Fantastic. So I spent most of yesterday emailing people in places like Mozambique, The Gambia, Namibia, etc. While I'm typing these emails, the power goes out briefly. A normal event, only this time the back-up battery attached to mine and Mary Beth's computers has died, meaning the emails that we were in the process of sending (a 20min process in itself) were deleted and the computers restarted. Great. Then 30min later it happened again. Only no one in charge took it seriously because it didn't happen to their computers.

So the technician comes out anyway because for some reason none of the computers in the office are connected to the printer anymore. While he's there I ask him why our internet is slower than usual and keeps disconnecting, and he offers me two explanations:

1. "The longer your ethernet cord is, the slower your connection will be--you need a shorter cord." I glance at my 3 foot cord and want to kill him. If someone can provide me some evidence that this might be even slightly true I will be grateful.

2. "It's not a problem with your internet, the website's servers must be down." He gave me this explanation for Google, Yahoo, Symantec, the United Nations, and the African Union. I don't think so.

So after the useless technician leaves we go back to trying to do our work. Mary Beth and I had made plans to go into town and watch Ghana v. Brazil at 6pm, and go to the internet cafe before that. At 5:01 our director tells Mary Beth she needs to call Djibouti and get Protocol updates from them. She calls, the woman isn't there, so Mary Beth has to send an email. Forty minutes later, after the webpage has loaded, the email is written, and Mary Beth is typing in the address, the stupid power goes out AGAIN and everything is lost AGAIN. At that point, 5:45, we packed up our crap and left to watch the game. Then Ghana lost.

Today I wake up at 6:30am, scamper off on my 2omin walk to work, get there and realize we are having a total computer breakdown. No one's internet works, no one can print, the back up power is still broken, and we have to call idiot technician again. So he comes back out, finally, and replaces our "switch," and tapes it to the wall with masking tape because he doesn't have the proper tools to install it. That took one sentence to write, but took six hours to actually do. So basically we couldn't use any computers today and thus couldn't do any work. Don't forget that the campaign updates were due "yesterday." So I spent all day on the phone with places like Mozambique, The Gambia, and Namibia trying to get them to send all the crap they were supposed to send last week.

I can't wait till tomorrow.

Gone till Tuesday

So I leave tomorrow morning for Amboseli and Tsavo West, should be an exciting trip--hopefully I can find a fast internet connection when I get back so I can post more pictures (last time it took like an hour to post 3--not something I can do regularly at work, I guess).

The FGM advocacy reception last night was really good, and only slightly awkward when I got grilled by the hardcore activists and fell into their trap with my "typical" American viewpoints. Well excuuuuuuuuuse me. The UN report launch today was much more structured--lots of speeches and minimal mingling (though far fewer delicious treats). Hopefully we'll get to go to more events like that, it seems like Equality Now gets invitations to stuff all the time. I've started volunteering myself for everything. The other day Mary Beth took down a message from someone about visiting a Maasai girls camp (not "Messiah," mom...) and when we delivered the message I quickly volunteered myself to tag along. Then our office manager told me it's in like Tanzania or something--ha--so we'll see when our director gets back, but I doubt it.

Ok, I've got to run to Nakumatt and buy a flashlight for this weekend. I'm keeping a low profile tonight because the U.S. is playing Ghana in the World Cup. The paper this morning said "the entire continent is behind Ghana tonight." So, if they're all behind Ghana tonight, then no one's got my back. Good thing I didn't wear an American flag t-shirt today--though I did have a hotdog for lunch.

Time to unpack my safari hat, cargo vest, and binoculars

This weekend I may take Friday and Monday off from work and go on a four day safari to Amboseli and Tsavo West National Parks. I'm still working on the details, but hopefully the trip will work out. Tomorrow night Mary Beth (the other intern) and I are going to an FGM advocacy reception--supposedly a "sharing forum." Let's hope that I'm not asked to share anything. Let's also hope that there will be food. Thursday morning we're going to a UN report launch--"A Situation and Response Analysis of Violence Against Women and Girls in the Era of AIDS in Kenya." Again, not sure what to expect, and hoping for free food.

So this is a pretty full week as far as events go. My work is moving along slowly. Basically they asked me to research gender issues in the upcoming UN reforms. Also, I'm supposed to contact NGOs throughout Africa and compile their updates on the "Campaign on Ratification, Domestication and Popularization of the Protocol on the Rights of Women in Africa" into one document that will be published later this summer. So, the work is interesting but it takes a while because of slow internet connections.

This past weekend was pretty boring. I stayed in Nairobi, saw "Poseidon" (which was terrible but the only new movie in the theaters), and spent a lot of time reading in Java House. Weekends in this city are always boring. I did manage to make the famous crazy man who always tries to rip off tourists scream incoherently at me for like 10 minutes. At the hostel I stayed at when I first got here, there was a sign hanging up about this guy, basically "Watch out for the really tall man with no front teeth. He is a criminal. He will come up to you on the street and pretend like he knows you from your hostel and works there." Then people had written down the dates on the sign when they'd encountered this guy. EVERY SINGLE TIME I go downtown this guy manages to find me and tries to pull the same stunt. So Sunday when he tried it I pulled off my headphones and yelled "I SEE YOU EVERY WEEK..." That's as far as I got before he went nuts and started screaming and running around like a maniac for a while. No one else on the street even turned around to look. Stupid city.

Give chance a chance

Recently I learned that one of the only items that thieves in Nairobi won't violently attack you for is an iPod or other portable music device. Apparently they have no resale value on the streets. I thought this was fantastic news. Now I can walk around the city without hearing: "TAXI?!?!?!?!?! TAXI?!?!??!?!" or "Safari? Masai Mara? What? You can't talk? You afraid of black people?"

....

and without worrying about getting my wrist sliced like if I wore a $5 gold-colored watch. Thanks Steve Jobs!


Me strolling down the streets of Nairobi, almost

Lake Naivasha and Hell's Gate

This past weekend I travelled to Lake Naivasha and Hell's Gate National Park. I left Nairobi around 7:30 Saturday morning and got to Fisherman's Camp, a campground right on the lake, at around 9:30. I rented a tent from the campground and after they pitched it for me (how nice), I dropped off some my stuff in it and got a taxi to take me about 3 miles down the road to Hell's Gate National Park.

Hell's Gate is cool because it's one of the only national parks in Kenya that you can walk or ride a bike through (you don't have to stay in your car). I rented a shiny new mountain bike for the day for about $6 and set off into the park. Once you enter the park it's about an 8km ride through on a really dusty road until you get to Hell's Gate Gorge. There are big rocky cliffs on either side of the park and i saw a ton of animals on the way: zebras, giraffes, antelopes, buffaloes, and baboons (not sure if some of those plural forms are correct). Some of the zebras were grazing really close to the side of the road, and after I determined they wouldn't attack or stampede me the ride was much more pleasant.

When i got to the Gorge, I parked my bike and hiked about a 1.5 hour loop through it, and got a little lost--I thought I was supposed to follow this path up a hill for a while, then realized I wasn't when the path was like 6 inches wide with a 200 foot drop to my right. I asked myself, "what would Macgyver do?" then slowly inched my way back down while holding onto roots and thick branches.

I gave both of my cameras to a sketchy stranger to take this picture

So, after I didn't die in/on the Gorge, I got back on my bike and rode back through the park. The whole trip was about 6 hours and I was exhausted and covered in dust when I got back. I watched some of the World Cup in the restaurant at the campsite (apparently I'm one of the few people here who couldn't care less about it) and met two Americans who were studying in Nairobi for the summer. They were planning to take a boat trip to Crater Lake Game Sanctuary the next morning, so i decided to do that with them. I went to bed pretty early because I didn't bring a flashlight and there were monkeys running around the campsite so I didn't want to stay out too late.

Our boat left at 8 the next morning so I got up pretty early. It was us 3 Americans, our guide, and someone running the little canoe/motorboat. The trip to Crater Lake took about 1.5 hours because our guide was showing us stuff along the way. We passed a family of hippos in the water and our boat got really close to them and was making them angry--they were jumping around and snarling and it was pretty scary--apparently hippos are the most deadly animals in kenya/africa/the world or something.

No hippos in this picture


When we got off the boat we walked to a lookout point over Crater Lake. On the way we saw tons of giraffes/zebras/monkeys/antelopes/etc. It was really cool, you could get as close to them as they would let you (unlike at hell's gate where you had to stay on the main path). That trip lasted until about 1pm, then we relaxed at the campsite for a while and I rode back with them in a car they had arranged earlier.

Giraffes are kinda cool

Hmmm...what else....Oh yeah. When I got to the campground I asked where the bathrooms were. They pointed to three small outhouse-type buildings lined up in a row. I went to use the first one but someone was cleaning it, and she told me to use the third one. When I got back from Hell's Gate, an enormous tree had fallen on the third bathroom and all that was left was tiny splinters of wood.

I almost forgot I was in Africa until I had to do laundry

Last night I had the wonderful experience of washing everything I own in my bathtub. After I determined that letting the hotel do a load of my laundry would cost about $36, and that laundry facilities are basically non-existent in Nairobi, I purchased a $0.35 bar of laundry soap (who would’ve thought laundry soap could be found in bar form—I guess I’m just sheltered) and decided to do it myself. I tried to remember how a real washing machine works. I think it goes something like this:

1. fill up with water
2. dump soap in
3. it swishes around for a while
4. water empties
5. new water pours in
6. more swishing
7. water empties
8. clothes spin really fast
9. done

So I did my best to mimic a real washing machine. I filled the bathtub up with water, applied bar soap to each item, swished it all around, emptied out the tub, put new water in and swished some more, then I added one final rinse.

The hard part is the final spin to get out the excess water. I obviously can’t create that kind of movement in an empty bathtub, and I didn’t want to twist my clothes too much because they’d stretch and I’d look awkward at work. So I just gave each item a quick squeeze. Now every available hanging space in my apartment has shirts/pants/socks hanging from it, with a cup/bowl/pot underneath to catch the dripping water (this second part wasn’t part of the original plan—I just realized what a huge mess I was making). The entire process took about three hours. Luckily I have no internet in my apartment to distract me, and I only get about 7 channels of hip-hop videos, televangelism, and mid-90’s Nickelodeon shows like “The Mystery Files of Shelby Woo” (actually that show’s pretty good).

In other news, this past weekend I tried nyama choma, Kenya’s unofficial national dish, which is basically just a barbequed goat leg. It was actually pretty good, but every bite took about 10 minutes to chew, seriously, which made dinner last forever. I also went to the Nairobi Java House three times this weekend—best coffee I’ve ever tasted, and delicious cinnamon ice cream too. Unfortunately I can’t go during the week after work because like 6 different people have told me that walking to/from City Center after dark = certain death. I’ll take their word for it, and taxis are too expensive. Ok, time to go do a safe activity in my apartment, like read a book or watch my clothes dry. L8r!

Nairobi is only as awkward as I make it

Fortunately I have mastered the art of turning everyday situations into uncomfortable events for everyone involved. Being a white kid in Nairobi presents countless opportunities for awkwardness because not only do I not know what to do most of the time, but also my every move is watched and it is clearly difficult to just blend in with the crowd.

I work in an office with only three other women. On the first day they had a few suggestions for "great" places to eat lunch, though it eventually became clear that we would not be dining together, and that I was on my own. They mentioned a place next door to the office, the ACK Guest House, so at lunch time I scampered over. Now, when I'm in downtown Nairobi, I just look like a tourist and people try to sell me safaris and stuff, but my presence isn't that strange. However, I work in the suburbs, and any walking I do in the area is met with confused stares--people generally just think I'm lost.

So, I arrive at ACK, which has outside seating, and immediately all eyes are on me. It's a buffet-style place, so for Ksh 120 (about $1.60) I get beef stew, rice, mixed vegetables, and a coke--not a bad deal. The entire time I'm ordering and shuffling through the line to get my food I'm pretending to be confident, like I go there everyday, but in reality I'm terrified because I have no idea where i'm going to sit. There are about 15 plastic tables with 4 chairs each--each table is covered by a straw roof and looks like it's inside a little hut or something--hard to explain, maybe one day I'll sneak and try to take a picture.

Anyway, each table of course has at least 2 people sitting at it, so i realize i'm going to have to awkwardly join someone's lunch date (getting the food to go is not an option). So i wander over to a table with two girls who look like they're about my age, and an older gentleman. I sit down and realize the man's eyes are completely white, and he's blind. The two girls have finished eating and are drinking sodas. No one talks. Everyone's plates are completely empty, and i wonder how they've managed to consume enough rice to feed a family of four during their lunch breaks. I realize that there's no way i'm going to be able to finish my food, which starts a new wave of panic. You know how when you're little your mom says "finish your food, there are starving people in africa/china/etc."? (Well, my mom never said this, but i've heard it said before--i think). Anyway, this takes on a whole new meaning when you actually ARE in Africa and there are starving people all around you--not at the restaurant, but you know what i mean.

So i finish all that i am physically capable of eating, meaning that there is enough for another entire meal left on my plate. i start praying that the people at my table will leave so they don't see me leave all of that food there. of course they don't--they just sit there in silence, alternating between staring at their sodas and at me, and taking the longest time ever to drink 300ml of fanta. After nibbling at the rice some more i look at my watch and decide I can't sit there any longer and just get up, grab my bag, and run away--like the selfish, horrible, neo-colonialist they all think that i am anyway. The great part about the whole situation is that i get to repeat it every single day--at least i know how that place works now, and i'm not adventurous enough to go somewhere new for lunch--at least not until the other intern gets here anyway.

In a few minutes I'm off to go see a movie. Movies here are a great way to fill the weekend--they show pretty recent stuff and they're only about $3. Last weekend I saw Mission Impossible 3. Before the movie started they had hardcore "gangsta" rap blasting over the loudspeaker in the theater. Then it got quiet and an image of the Kenyan flag blowing in the wind appeared on the screen, and the national anthem started playing. Everyone jumped to their feet (me too, of course, pretending like i saluted the Kenyan flag everyday) and stood quietly for about 3 minutes, until the previews started playing, then they all settled into their seats for the movie. Perhaps I'll jump up first and lead the salute this afternoon.

i hope i don't get licked by a bat

today i went to health services for my "travel assessment" for nairobi. i thought it would be a quick trip just to get shots--no, they had about 200 pages of internet printouts to go over, with every possible health issue i might encounter. here's a few warnings i received:

i'm not allowed to eat fruit, vegetables, food from vendors, drink tap water or other non-packaged beverages, and i'm supposed to sleep under mosquito netting, even in my hotel room, so i won't get malaria. if i go out at night i have to wear long sleeve shirts, pants, and cover any exposed skin with insect repellent containing at least 30% deet.

i'm also not allowed to go rafting (there might be parasites in the water), caving (because of bats) and if i wake up and there's a bat in my hotel room, i should assume i have rabies and immediately seek medical attention, and if i think i was only "licked" by a bat i should assume it was a bite because they produce similar sensations.

i got a shot for polio, one for hepatitis-a, and a typhoid vaccine in pill form. i have to go back monday for my yellow fever shot, a tetanus booster, and malaria pills. they tried to give me the morning-after pill, but i refused.

this summer's gonna be awesome.